A reflective worksheet for families considering mediation or parenting coordination in California
This worksheet is most useful when completed individually, before any joint session. If you and your co-parent are filling it out separately, that is expected — you do not need to share your answers with each other before speaking with a professional.
Your answers stay with you. Nothing here is sent to anyone. At the end, you'll have the option to use your answers to draft an outreach to your attorney or your co-parent — with AI help.
Part One
Your situation
Let's start with what's actually driving the conflict right now.
What is the primary source of conflict between you and your co-parent right now?
Select everything that applies.
Is the primary issue about co-parenting specifically — or are there other unresolved matters from the divorce that are driving or complicating things?
Mediation can address a wide range of issues. Parenting coordination focuses specifically on the parenting plan and child-related decisions.
Part Two
Your existing agreement
What is already in place — and what isn't working?
Do you already have a co-parenting or custody agreement in place?
What parts of your agreement — or your co-parenting relationship — are working reasonably well?
What parts are not working? Where does the conflict most often show up?
Part Three
Legal representation
This shapes how any process gets started and who needs to be involved.
Are you represented by an attorney in your divorce or custody case?
Is your co-parent represented by an attorney?
When one or both parties are represented, the decision to pursue mediation or parenting coordination will typically involve counsel. Attorneys are often the primary contact with the court, and any agreement will be reviewed before filing. If you have an attorney, talk to them before scheduling anything.
Part Four
Where things stand between you
Understanding your co-parent's position helps shape how you approach the next conversation.
Have you discussed the possibility of mediation or parenting coordination with your co-parent?
What do you think is getting in the way for your co-parent — if anything?
Not what you wish they felt. What you actually observe.
Part Five
The question that often decides the path
This is the most important question in the worksheet. Take your time with it.
When you and your co-parent cannot agree on a decision about your child, what do you want to happen?
A note on parenting coordination: Choosing a PC does not mean giving up your voice. You participate in every decision. The PC's authority to decide only activates when both parties have genuinely tried and failed to agree — and any decision can be brought to the court for review.
Part Six
Your safety and wellbeing
Every professional process needs to be designed around your specific situation. This question helps make sure nothing important gets missed.
A question worth answering honestly
Are there any safety concerns, power dynamics, or patterns in your co-parenting relationship that a professional should be aware of before designing a process with you?
This includes — but is not limited to — domestic violence, restraining orders, substance use, mental health concerns, or anything that affects how safely you can be in the same room or process together. You do not have to have a court order for this to matter.
Part Seven
Anything else
Is there anything about your situation — history, context, concerns about the process — that a professional should know before your first conversation?
Part Eight
Use your answers — with AI help
You've done the thinking. Now put it to work. Choose who you need to reach out to first.
Reaching out to your attorney
A clear, organized summary of your situation to share with counsel — or to help you prepare for that conversation.
Your AI prompt for your attorney — copy and take to Claude.ai
Click "Build attorney prompt" below to assemble your answers.
Copied!
Reaching out to your co-parent
Use the C.H.I.L.D. framework to draft a message or practice the conversation.
The C.H.I.L.D. communication framework
C
Child-FocusedKeep your child's wellbeing at the center
H
HonestSay what is true without embellishing or omitting
I
IntentionalEvery word earns its place — nothing is vented
L
Low-HeatCalm in tone even when the situation isn't
D
DirectClear about what you are asking, without ultimatum
Your AI prompt for your co-parent — copy and take to Claude.ai
Click "Build co-parent prompt" below to assemble your answers.
Copied!
A note on privacy. I recommend Claude.ai for this work. Unlike some AI tools, Claude does not remember your conversations by default — what you share stays in that session and is not used to train the model. If you want Claude to remember something for future sessions, you can tell it to. Otherwise, your conversation is private to you.
When you start your Claude session, treat it like a conversation at a coffee shop — someone might be nearby. Use first names only, no identifying details. Then paste your prompt and get to work.
If you found this worksheet useful and are looking for more tools like it,
a full workbook for families navigating this process is available at GradientResolutions.com.